I recently came across this article on MSNBC.com by therapist and relationship counselor Dr. Ian Kerner titled, “Reasons to ‘unfriend’ your spouse on Facebook.” It begins like this…
Jack, a new patient who has been married for eight years with two young sons, rails against Facebook: “Let’s see, yesterday my wife: Felt bloated, realized she has nothing to wear, posted yet another adorable photo album of our boys dressed as Jedi warriors, was missing Michael Jackson and, oh yeah … DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH ME!”
Another patient, Katrina, complains that her husband is constantly tracking her every Facebook move. “He’s always been the jealous type, but now he’s like a stalker. Every new friend is an interrogation.” Out of exasperation, she’s decided to deactivate her account, but feels angry and smothered. “It’s like I’m being monitored by the thought-police!”
Fred complains that every time his wife posts something to her Super Wall, he realizes just how boring their lives have become. “Do I really need to know that my wife is about to do something totally nutty like go have a second cappuccino? What happened to the wild woman I fell in love with?”
The author’s conclusion is that if you’re Facebook friends with your spouse, you lose a “sense of mystery” which is essential to a marriage because the pursuit of knowing each other drives you to “new levels of desire and passion.” So, he recommends people unfriend their spouse.
I’m not sure I buy it.
It seems to me that in the examples he cited, Facebook is not the problem; Facebook is amplifying a bigger, underlying problem in these marriages.
What do you think?
Are you Facebook friends with your spouse? What impact do you think it has on your marriage?