25 Ways @BritneySpears @BarackObama @RickWarren Expose Terrorists who Caused #GulfOilSpill, Take Ur Blog Viral w #iPhone

Everyone with a blog wants to make it big.  They want to write that post that will go viral, become an Internet sensation, and make them an a-list blogger.

I have done extensive research on blog posts that have gone viral.  That research has revealed the secrets… secrets which I will reveal to you here.

Furthermore, because Christian Web Trends is written for a Christian audience.  I’m will go even deeper and reveal the hidden secrets to getting a post to go viral within the Christian blogosphere.

Let’s start with…

10 Secrets to Going Viral in the General Blogosphere

1) Make your post a list.

2) Start the title of your post with a number. Like, oh I don’t know… 25.

3) Include gossip about Britney Spears. No one can resist reading and sharing a post about Britney.

4) Write about Barack Obama. He’s the most polarizing person in the world.  People either love him or hate him and both camps will read a post in the hopes that it will justify their feelings towards the president.

5) Scare people with terrorism. There’s nothing like a little fear to get people’s attention, right?

6) Include a conspiracy theory. Personally, I would never stoop that low.  After all it’s a known fact that terrorists caused the Gulf oil spill, but if you’ve got a new theory for the Kennedy Assassination or 911, that’s got viral written all over it.

7) Write about a controversial current event. A devastating earthquake, flood, or oil spill will do.

8 ) Expose something. A secret, a nipple, whatever…

9) Write about the iPhone. Steve Jobs told me over coffee that Apple preprogrammed them to automatically import and share all articles about iPhones.

10) Use Twitter hashtags. They will make the post look hip & people will share it because they think it makes them look cool too. #IAmHashtagMan

Now, I’ll let you in on…

15 More Secrets to Going Viral in the Christian Blogosphere

11) Bash megachurches. Some people can’t resist an opportunity to rant about megachurches.  All you have to say is something like “Megachurches are superficial and theologically weak.” or  “Megachurches are preaching a psychotherapy, prosperity gospel.” Or cite a news story about a megachurch or its pastor making a mistake and they are all over the comments like buzzards on roadkill.

12) Use cynical humor. By doing this a) people who dislike megachurches will get riled up because they think you’re criticizing megachurche, b) people in megachurches will get giddy because they’ll think you’re making fun of the people who dislike megachurches, c) if anything really bad happens you can say you were just joking.  It’s a total win-win-win!

13) Mention a famous Christian like Rick Warren or Andy Stanley.

14) Mention as many as you can. Bill Hybels, Joel Osteen, Craig Groeschel, Rob Bell, Pete Wilson, and Mark Driscoll are all good candidates.

15) Be sure to put at least one in the post title.

16) If they’re pastors of megachurches that’s even better because it will help get the attention of the thousands of people in those churches.

17) And if they’re on Twitter, that’s like hitting the Powerball
‘cause maybe they’ll see the tweets and respond.

18) Include images of those famous Christian megachurch pastor twitterers in the post.

19) Reference something sexy but not over the line, like a church partnering with Hooters for hurricane relief or a church doing a 30 day sex challenge or Brittany Spears and an oil spill.

20) Add some statistics from George Barna to give your post some credibility. This is key because according to Barna 85% of blogs are declining or have plateaued.  And of the 15% that are growing, 97% of that growth is transfer growth from other blogs.

21) Insult an ethnic group that that makes up at least 25% of the world’s population. That will get bloggers of that ethnic group to write about your site repeatedly for several weeks.  You may be forced to shut down your site, but don’t worry you can always launch a new site about forgiveness and second chances.

22) Throw in a hilarious YouTube video that may or may not be relevant to the rest of the post. People falling down or being hit in the genitals are always popular.

23) Email it to all your contacts. Make sure you start your email with something like, “I never forward messages like this, but…”

24) Schmooze Todd Rhoades and ask him to post it on MMI. (BTW, I can get Bono on The Show next Tuesday if you like. DM me.)

25) Oh, and end your post with a question asking for reader’s opinions…

What do you think?  What other secrets have you discovered to getting a blog post to go viral?

Paul Steinbrueck is co-founder and CEO of OurChurch.Com, elder of CypressMeadows.org, husband, father of 3, blogger. You can follow him on Twitter at @PaulSteinbrueck and add him to your circles at Google+ as +Paul Steinbrueck.

31 Responses to “25 Ways @BritneySpears @BarackObama @RickWarren Expose Terrorists who Caused #GulfOilSpill, Take Ur Blog Viral w #iPhone”

  1. Hilarious! I have used youtube videos in my blogs often that were related to the topic. I never thought about adding groin hits……
    <a href="http://www.speakinggraceonline.com” target=”_blank”>www.speakinggraceonline.com

  2. Hilarious! I have used youtube videos in my blogs often that were related to the topic. I never thought about adding groin hits……
    http://www.speakinggraceonline.com

  3. I just realized #26 should be… don't make the title of the post so long that it can't be retweeted. That was a dumb mistake on my part. I definitely tried to do too much.

  4. Brilliant blog! Like it! Look forward to this going viral :D

  5. Hahaha. Can see you did your research. :P

  6. You really know how to get them in! LOL…now I wonder how many Kooks I will get following me since I retweeted, and posted it to my FB profile?____Rev. Marilyn Fisher

  7. I love this post. Great note about the too long title! (like the alliteration?)

    I am the only one or is it quite frustrating at times trying to figure out which characters you can delete or change and still create a readable/intelligible tweet?

    Who is the lord of tweetdom that decided the world should revolve around 140 characters anyway? At least brevity is the soul of wit! I wonder what that makes soul food?

  8. Wow. Parody, satire and hitting all targets with one arrow for the win.

  9. I love it! I laughed out loud, and I certainly needed that this morning! Thanks!

    Jennifer

  10. You forgot to include something about the White House either supporting or banning the National Day of Prayer. Either one will generate a lot of traffic. If you say both it could go viral!

  11. Sorry, Paul, but this makes me feel bad rather than laugh. Because it seems true.

  12. ha ha ha, well – it will be put to it's own test.
    I only think that the list is a bit too big, but it has the makings of going viral – and I will give it a small kick start.

  13. Doug Terpening May 6, 2010 at 2:45 pm

    Ha, Ha, Ha. Thanks for great laugh this morning.

  14. WOW! It wouldn't be so funny if it wasn't true.
    Thanks Paul.

  15. Bro.. you have WAY too much time on your hands! But I love it!

  16. Really, Paul… Bono? Have your people call my people.

    Todd

    • Did I say Bono? I meant Bozo. ;)

      Seriously though, you as much as anyone know what pushes Christians' buttons and provokes sharing and discussion of certain issues and stories. I appreciate the way you bring stories to our attention and get the conversations going at MMI.

  17. I must do this. We must all do this. And together, we will RULE the blogosphere!!

    Oh, and how about also mentioning hip church words and phrases frequently, like:

    Organic
    House Church
    Dynamic Worship Experience
    Authentic
    Relevant
    Emergent
    Ancient

    Actually, some of those are past their prime now.

  18. I learned from this post…but I think folks who are not yet christians looking @ this may be confused by the strong lge….my 2 cents=)

  19. Intense. Engaging. Almost a "dare you" feel. Keeps me thinking about what boundaries I am willing to cross!

  20. Awesome post! cracking up

    • Well, 22 tweets and 25 comments so far. But I would hardly call that viral. At least not yet. In retrospect, I probably should have cut it down to 10 things and made the title more succinct. Oh well.

  21. Your post is completely utterly wrong, small-minded, out of date, underhand and misleadingly controversial. And people can read MY blog to find out why.

    /watches stats hopefully

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