“The problems of the internet is that there is no real sense of intimacy. Instead of seeing ‘real people as they really are’, you only get to see that which someone is willing to expose.”
That’s part of a comment from an earlier post in this series, and a frequently aired criticism of the Internet.
Community is a critically important part of any church. At my offline church we define community as a place where you can know and be known, love and be loved, serve and be served, celebrate and be celebrated.
Is that possible in an online church?
If I visit an offline church, the moment I step through the doors I reveal my approximate age, height, weight, and ethnicity. Someone who is paying attention can tell even more about me by looking at my ring finger, my hair (er, lack of), and my clothes. And someone who is really perceptive may be able to tell quite a bit about my mood and emotional condition by looking at my facial expressions and body language.
One of the peculiarities of the web is that it allows of anonymity. If I visit an online church, none of those things are visible to anyone there. People only know what I tell them about myself.
It’s that anonymity that gives the impression that you can never really know someone online.
But the reality of the offline world is people are not particularly genuine with one another. We wear clothes and a hairstyle to project a certain image. We smile on the outside when we’re crying on the inside. We’re quiet about our dark thoughts, cover up our sin, and conceal our bad habits and addictions.
Here’s the rest of the quote from the top of this post…
The problems of the internet is that there is no real sense of intimacy. Instead of seeing “real people as they really are”, you only get to see that which someone is willing to expose (not unlike the “traditional brick and mortar church” come to think of it). Unfortunately all too many people online create an “online persona” that has nothing to do with who they really are. There also is no sense of permanence. When something new intrudes in life, all of a sudden the “virtual church” takes a back seat (hmmm … again not unlike the “traditional brick and mortar church”! Maybe we’re seeing a trend here?).
Authenticity is a Choice
It may be a little easier to hide who you really are online if you want to, but ultimately if you want genuine relationships online or offline you simply have to choose to be authentic with those people.
I met my wife, Jennifer, while I was living in Maryland and she was here in Florida. I think I saw her 3 times during the next year. But we emailed each other almost every day and that is how we really got to know each other.
The reality is many people find it easier to be authentic with people online. This is particularly true for people with physical abnormalities or social awkwardness. Online churches have the opportunity to help these people develop authentic Christ-centered relationships.
I’ve developed a lot of awesome relationships online. I still think there is nothing as good as getting together with someone in person – a handshake, a hug, the opportunity to look into someone eyes, the experience of seeing their quirks and mannerisms – but I believe genuine community can be had without that.
What do you think?
What are the hurdles to online churches developing authentic community? What are the opportunities?[image by doodlemonger]